Bathtime
by The Moon on a String
Summary: The Joker and Harley share a bath together.


**Author's Notes:** Just another random oneshot. Enjoy.

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><p><strong>Bathtime<strong>

It wasn't often Harley got to relax. She was always pulling off heists or being thrown in Arkham or escaping Arkham or complying to the Joker's every command. She didn't complain though. One, because she knew she'd just get in trouble for complaining, and two, because she didn't mind all that much. She was one of those people who was always on her feet, performing some sort of errand.

So yes, times when she got to wind down and do her own thing were pretty rare. But just because she wasn't fussed about relaxing, didn't mean she didn't enjoy it when it occurred.

After another long day of robbing the First National Bank of Gotham, the Joker told his henchman to take the rest of the night off and meet back at their hideout the next morning. They all happily complied.

Harley was absolutely pooped; it was hard to run in jester shoes. They gave her blisters. Sighing, she pulled off her mask and cowl, tossing them on the bench. She rubbed her left eye with a closed fist and smacked her lips. She had the rest of the night off. What now? Maybe a bath? A nice, warm bubble bath. That sure sounded good. A yawn escaped her lips and she stretched. Yeah, that bath was definitely sounding good

Long arms wrapped around her waist, startling her. She felt the Joker rest his chin on her head. "Tired, are we?" She could _hear_ his smirk.

"Yeah, it's been a long day."

"Mm, I know." The Joker also let out a small yawn. "Are you going to bed now, sweetheart?"

She rested her arms on top of his. It wasn't often he was randomly affectionate. He _must_ have been tired. "Actually I'm gonna take a bath first, if that's okay?" She knew she didn't really have to ask permission but she did anyway.

"Yes, of course, my dear." He kissed the top of her head.

After that, he stepped away from her and took off his gloves. And just like that, his attention was completely diverted from her. He walked past her, as if he didn't even see her, and left the room. She didn't let that bother her much anymore; she knew he had a short attention span.

Besides, she had a bubble bath to attend too. She grinned and trotted to the bathroom. After putting in the plug, she turned the hot water tap to full blast. Then she opened the medicine cabinet and began to search for the bubble bath mixture. When she couldn't find it, she knelt down and opened the cupboards under the sink. After some digging around, she found the bottle at the very back, covered in dust. _Wow, it's been pretty long since I've used this. _She poured a generous amount in the tub and then turned on the cold water tap. Then she added some jasmine bath salts for extra relaxation.

The bath was looking very inviting now. She stripped out of her harlequin suit and tied her hair in a bun on the top of her head. After testing the water to see if it was ready, she turned off the taps – Harley liked the water pretty hot and it was just perfect. Smiling, she stepped into the tub and lowered herself down. Oh, man, it already felt great. The bubbles sat high around her shoulders and neck and the water smelt lovely. She hoped she wouldn't fall asleep.

The next twenty minutes Harley spent just lying there, a towel propping up her head. She fit in the bath perfectly. Sometimes being small had its advantages. But this bath _was_ pretty big. She remembered the bath in her old apartment and how she didn't fit in that; it was tiny! That's why she had preferred showers. That and she had no time in the mornings or evenings for a bath. She had study and work. Even back then, she didn't have time to relax.

A rap on the door brought her out of her daydreams. She say up slightly, glancing over to the door.

"Harley?" The Joker called to her. "Can I come in, princess?"

She pursed her lips. If he was coming in to tell her to wash his suit or fix him something to eat, her mood was going to be ruined. But it's not like she couldn't _not_ invite him in; he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Sure, Mr J, the door's unlocked."

The door clicked open and he slipped inside. "Just came to make sure you haven't drowned." The Joker said, grinning at her as he closed the door behind him.

She nestled back onto the towel, smiling faintly. Closing her eyes, she let out a small hum.

For some reason, her lack of response irked him. Normally she would have laughed at that and thrown a witty comment back at him. Why did it bother him so much that she wasn't giving him her full attention? Why did he care? He convinced himself it was because he was her boss and she was always supposed to pay attention to him. He glanced in the mirror, running a hand through his green hair. "Are you nearly done?"

"Not really."

"When are you getting out?"

"Mm, I dunno... in a while."

He gritted his teeth. "Aren't you going to go to bed soon?"

She waved her hand dismissively. "You can go to bed without me, honey."

He didn't want to go to bed without her! He wanted her to get out that damn bath and stop ignoring him! _Now you know how she feels, _he voice hissed at the back of his mind. He shoved that voice away and crossed his arms. He supposed if he couldn't get her to get out the tub, he could just get her attention another way.

The Joker cleared his throat and took a stop closer to the bath. "You mind if I join you?"

That got Harley to open her eyes. She say up and arched a brow at him. "Really?" She sounded skeptical. They have had showers together before a few times and they slept in the same bed (most of the time) but they hadn't had a bath together. The Joker refused very time she offered. Why the sudden change of heart?

"Of course. Can I?"

The blonde woman shrugged. "Yeah, go ahead."

He nodded and removed his jacket, tossing it on the sink. "Is that water hot?" He asked as he removed his vest, then tie and shiftbb

"It's still pretty warm, yeah."

The Joker unbuttoned his pants and Harley giggled as he pulled them down. He was wearing the green and purple striped boxers she'd gotten him. "I thought you hated those." She said wryly, shameless staring at his pale, scar littered body.

"I do." He muttered as he took them off.

As the Clown Prince stepped into the tub, he smiled in satisfaction. "Hmm, you like your baths very hot, don't you?" He sat opposite Harley.

"I do. Just like you."

He sighed and rested his arms behind his head, trying to get comfortable. Which was hard because the faucet was behind him and he didn't really fit in the tub. Also, it wasn't designed for two people. Grimacing, he threw her a pleading look. "Can we swap?" He asked hopefully. "I'll let you sit on my lap?"

Knowing she couldn't argue, she stood up. The Joker moved to the other side of the tub and groaned as he sunk deeper, resting his neck on the towel she was using. "Ah, much better."

Harley sat back down, drawing her knees up to her chest.

The older man frowned at her, opening his arms impatiently. "Well, come here."

She wasn't expecting him to be serious; the Joker wasn't usually one for cuddling. But she didn't want to pass up this opportunity. She scooted over, straddling his legs and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He smiled at her, finally comfortable. "I can see why you like this."

"Mm, it's great."

Harley watched his eyes drift down, stopping at her chest. His brow furrowed and she shifted awkwardly, biting her lip. She'd always been self-conscious about her breasts, the other cheerleaders in high school made fun of her for being flat chested. And even though she needed a petite figure for gymnastics, she had always wanted larger breasts. She pulled her arms from him, scooping the bubbles up and covering her chest with them.

The Joker noticed and frowned at her. "Harley, baby, what are you doing?"

Her cheeks grew red. "Oh, I just... um..." She shrugged. "What are you staring at?"

"You have bruise," he pointed to a spot above her right breast, "here."

She glanced down. Sure enough, there was a faint but large bruise forming there. She hadn't noticed until now. Must have been from the robbery. "Huh."

"Also... I don't feel self-conscious. Seriously. Your breasts are lovely."

Harley blushed, glancing away. What a sweet and unusual comment coming from him. When she glanced back at her lover, his eyes were closed. He didn't get to relax much either. Probably even less than her. He didn't really know how to. But was the perfect opportunity.

She watched him for a moment before leaning closer and wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt him stiffen but after a moment, he drew her closer to his chest. Inch by inch, Harley's head gradually ended up resting on the Joker's shoulder. Her eyelids fluttered before sliding closed. Everything was so warm and lovely and relaxing...

She woke to someone ruffly patting her cheek. "Get up." A nearby voice ordered.

The woman let out a small breath, eyes fluttering open. She felt so disoriented, waking up upright; it made her feel so groggy.

But not for long; the Joker pushed her backwards as he stood up. She fell, her back landing in the water, which was significantly cooler, and became submerged by the water. Gasping, she reached for the side of the bath and pulled herself upright. She narrowed her eyes at the Joker who was already out and drying himself off.

When he caught her angry, and rather rejected, look, he pursed his lips. Okay, maybe that was little harsh since she'd just woken up. It _was_ hilarious though. Exhaling heavily, he offered a hand which she quickly took. He was even nice enough to help her out the bathtub and give her a towel, well, throw her one. "Enjoy your bath, baby?"

She nodded, a lot more happier now. "DId you?"

"Of course, sweetheart." He muttered vaguely as he dressed himself.

Before the blonde had even towelled herself off, he had pulled on his boxers and pants. Once she was dry, Harley picked up his jacket and wrapped it around her, smiling slyly.

"Excuse me, girly, that's mine."

She giggled and fled from the bathroom. He gritted his teeth and followed, not in the mood for games anymore. He easily caught up to her, his long strides out matching her own. Snagging her wrist, he yanked her to a stop. "Harley!" He barked.

She jumped and spun around, frowning at him.

The Joker couldn't stand to that panicked long on her face. He was so disgustingly weak sometimes. Instead of snapping at her again, he took a deep breath. "Is my princess gonna give me back my jacket?" He asked, voice turning playful.

The small woman grinned once more, shaking her head. She slipped from his grip and ran to the bedroom.

He followed her, chucking. He had to admit, he did enjoy how playful Harley could be. She was one of the few people that could keep him entertained. He looked down at her as he entered the bedroom. She looked ever tinier than usual in his massive jacket; the coat tails close to touching the ground. But she still looked flattering in it. _Then again, that girl looks flattering in everything._ "You know something, kiddo?" He said, running his hands down her arms and eventually holding her own hands. "That almost suits you better than it suits me."

"Would you say this suit suits me?" She asked coyly.

The Joker let out a loud laugh. "That's a good one, Harls." He scooped her up bridal style, catching her by surprise. "Ah, you have a perfect sense of humour, doll-face. Not as rich as mine... but still good."

She resisted rolling her eyes at his vanity. "Gee, thanks, boss." She leant forward and kissed his cheek.

Suddenly, he tossed her into the bed. She let out a surprised squeak as she landed while he laughed agin and climbed on the bed next to her.

"Ready for bed, Mr J?" She asked as she sat up straight.

"Actually, no..." his hands moved to the collar of his jacket and he slid it off her shoulders. "I have something else in mind..."

She let out a loud giggle as he pushed her on to the mattress and began kissing her neck.


End file.
